actions speak louder than words

Actions speak louder than words.

As a mother, I’ve thought about that phrase more times than I can count.

I could have told my daughters how much I loved my body. I could have been careful never to speak an unkind word about myself in front of them. I could have preached confidence, self-acceptance, and balance.

But did my actions tell the same story?

How many times did they catch me glancing in the mirror, quietly celebrating a smaller body? How often did they see me avoid my reflection when I didn’t like what I saw? How many times did they watch me serve myself portions that were far too small, skip meals, drink my calories, or reach for products cleverly marketed as “healthy” replacements for real food?

My sweet girls…did you notice?

Eating disorders are insidious. They lie, cheat, and steal their way into homes that never saw them coming, including my own, long before I ever understood how deeply this work would become part of my story.

Those chains are long gone, but I’d be lying if I said I’ve never wondered what messages my daughters absorbed, not from what I said, but from what I modeled. What did they learn about food? About their bodies? About worth? About what it means to take up space in the world?

Eating disorders are complex. Biology matters. Psychology matters. Social media, diet culture, and unrealistic beauty standards matter. But so does the environment a child grows up in. So does what happens around the dinner table. So do the comments they overhear, the mirrors they watch us stand in front of, and the ways they see us move, nourish, restrict, celebrate, or criticize our bodies.

For a long time, it was easier to point outward, to blame the media, the culture, the impossible standards women have been handed for generations. And while those influences are very real, my work with clients struggling with eating disorders has brought this truth closer to home:

The environment that can contribute to an eating disorder can also help protect against one.

Family meals. Joyful movement. Neutral conversations about food. Seeing a mother eat dessert without guilt. Hearing her speak to herself with kindness. Watching her nourish her body rather than punish it.

These moments may seem small. They’re not.

Because when it comes to our children, our actions are a whole lot louder than our words.

If this stirred something in you, whether as a parent, partner, or someone healing your own relationship with food and body image, you do not have to navigate it alone. Reach out through my contact page to see if we're a good fit.